Wednesday, 12 January 2011

New Year New Me (with new jaws)

A belated Happy New Year to all.

Christmas came and went in a blink, and with the dark nights (and days) still here for a few weeks, I’m fighting the doldrums. I don't know why. A year ago I was just about to go for my first lot of surgery. Here I am with it all behind me, everything to look forward to.

I’m always the same at this time of year. Perhaps it’s the anti-climax, the realisation that (yet) another year has passed; knowing you’ve put too much weight and drunk too much and it’s going to be an uphill struggle, and you still haven’t achieved all the things you planned to do last year.

However the one thing I like about January 1st is it’s a time to wipe the slate clean. I can put the past behind me, dream the dreams of everything I’d like to do; re-evaluate and make changes.

Usually in January, I’m full of renewed vigour and set myself a mountain of resolutions and projects ‘to do’ that very quickly get broken or fall by the wayside. I did it last year, then with my health problems and the operations spent much of the year beating myself up about what I was unable to do and didn’t achieve.

Why do we do that – set ourselves up to fail? Why are we so hard on ourselves?

The trouble is, my brain is still alive (even though my body might not always do what I’d like it to,) and I need something to keep me going or some days with the Behcets disease, I might prefer to curl up under a stone.

What’s the answer?

Well, a slightly more pragmatic me has raised myself after the Christmas/winter slumber this year. I’ve decided to cut myself a little slack. Let’s face it, who knows what’s round the corner, (especially with my health.) So I’m not going to make any resolutions. I need aspirations rather than resolutions – and aspirations that are realistic and achievable. Let’s face it, I’m never going to win the Booker,I’ll never be able to run a marathon and I don’t suppose I’ll get a nomination for ‘mum of the year’ any time soon. I’m going to focus more – and pick one or two key aspirations rather than make a shopping list.

To do this I start by asking myself, ‘If you could choose one thing that you'd really like to do, just one thing, that would enrich your life and make you happy, what would it be?’

It’s easy to answer. I've been desperate to get back to writing. It’s a cliché but writing is my passion and I’m pleased to announce I have been accepted again on the Romantic Novelist’s Association’s New Writer’s Scheme.

The first aspiration therefore follows - to finish my second novel, Country Strife and get it off to them for critiquing. The second is something I’ve been talking about for long enough. With the surgery behind me there are no more excuses - oh yes, except my illness, and life which sometimes has a habit of getting in the way - but you will be pleased to learn I’ve actually STARTED that non-fiction book I’ve kept talking about. Living (and smiling through) long term illness and/or pain.

That’s it. Nothing else. If all I achieve by the end of 2011 are those two things I shall be very pleased with myself.

Now it’s over to you - same question - ‘What is the one thing that you would really like to do – just one thing, (however small) that you keep telling yourself you would do, if only you had more time, more money, more motivation…’

You don’t need to write a book. It might be something simple like write your memoirs, start piano lessons, call an old friend, volunteer. As long as it’s something you would really, really like to do. Another true cliché – life is too short. It’s time to grasp it, get on with it. Carpe Diem – seize the day!

After all the hurdles and hindrances I encountered in 2010 I shall spend this year living a creative, joyous and fulfilling life.

Just like my second novel, a new chapter in life is waiting to be written…

So until another day


xx

17 comments:

Debs Carr said...

I think you've achieved an enormous amount during 2010 and look forward to reading your books.

Congratulations for being accepted on the RNA NWS again - me too! So, we both have that same aim to work for. I've just got to work on some editing on one book, then finish another and hopefully make it good enough to submit to the NWS.

I hope 2011 is all that you want it to be. x

Milla said...

well done Angel. Your positivity is very inspiring - I want some!!

Posie said...

Angel you have a great year ahead of you, well done you, enjoy indulging in your passion and I look forward to reading about your success.
Happy New Year....and thank goodness the surgery is over and you can continue with your recovery...be kind to your self.
Best wishes

Queenie said...

In answer to your question, it is writing and I'm already doing it, being a dedicated seizer of days. Oddly enough, I didn't intend to make a NY resolution this year, but one seems to have crept up on me... I'll be blogging about this, so you'll have to wait! Congratulations on your RNA NWS acceptance, and best of luck with your writing. It all sounds very positive.

bayou said...

yes, and there are so many unwritten pages to be turned. The best is yet to come, dear Debbie.

Sarah Callejo said...

I gave up making resolutions, they just made me feel guilty. I hope this year is all about happiness and relaxing for you and all worries are left behind in 2010.
I've been accepted in the NWS again, and I'm very excited about it too.

elizabethm said...

As always you sound energetic and positive and determined (while having every reason to pull the duvet over your head and refuse to come out). I wish you a very good 2011 with all your surgery behind you and time to concentrate on other bits of yourself. And hope to see you soon too! xx

TIGGYWINKLE said...

Debbie, I have been thinking a lot about you, and have just read the whole account of your surgery and continuing recovery. You are amazing, and look amazing too. I am very taken up with looking after Tigger and my brother, but really want to get back blogging, as I have a lot to catch up on. The best of luck with your writing, and keep well xx

Colette McCormick said...

Good luck for 2011. Stay positive.

Kat W said...

Firstly, thank you for visting my blog and leaving a lovely comment.

This post is inspirational and full of positivity. I found myself cheering you on and I wish you a very happy 2011.

To read my New Year story I wrote a blog post: http://wrightstory.blogspot.com/2011/01/new-year-2011-trio-of-online-challenges.html
- where you'll see how I can empathise with struggling with health and setting goals.

It is great to connect up with you. Look forward to following your journey in 2011.

Kat X

Kat W said...

Oh and I forgot to add a big Congratulations on being accepted on the RNA NWS! Lots to look forward to.

Kat :-)

Flowerpot said...

Well done for getting on the RNA NWS - and best of luck with all your writing. It seems to me that you achieved a huge amount last year given the state of your health. Give yourself a pat on the back for that.

Faith said...

You are more than amazing - congrats on getting on that course. Happy New Year to you!

Tattie Weasle said...

Absolutley fantatsic about eh writing and you are truly amazing. Whatever you're on, can you bottle it so I can have some too?
There's an Award if you do them over at my place!

Debs Carr said...

There's an award for you over at my blog.x

Suzanne Jones said...

Terrific post - and lots to look forward to. Can't wait to read about the progress of your books.

This is late, but all the very best for 2011.

XX

Caroline said...

Keep gong BSMum! Even if you only write for yourself at least you can say "I've written x novels". So what if you never get pubbed - its *still* a major achievement just to finish a book. Caroline x