Thursday, 31 March 2011

Another holiday bites the dust

I should be on my way to New York today. But I’m here, sitting at the island in our kitchen, looking out at the emerald green fields to the front of the barn.

A nearby farm house is cradled in a dip as if to keep snug from the elements. Outside the wind buffets the double glazing and shakes at the bird feeders on the trees until they slide off and scatter peanuts over the ground. The cat, his fur ruffled, darts across the garden like a thing possessed and pleads with urgent mews to come in. He cosies up alongside the dog that is at my feet. We all hide away.

I haven’t been well for weeks. I thought it was the after effects of my recent surgery. Then I supposed it was my age. Eventually I went to the doctors. An enlarged uterus was diagnosed. What now. More blood tests, an ultrasound showed nothing serious although I have to see a gynaecologist and have more investigations. Sometimes I get so sick of always having something wrong with me.

It got worse. After spending most of the weekend in bed, I woke on Monday morning with crippling stomach pains. Hubby had to rush me to A & E where we spent most of the day. Inflamed ovaries. As well as my Behcets disease, I’m now a menopausal old bag. No, that’s a little melodramatic - I’m not quite past it yet - I’m still producing hormones, they are imbalanced. It’s the peri-menopause. Great. It might go on for years.

We’re delighted to hear I will be allowed home with pain killers, as long as I rest. But we’re supposed to be going to New York on Thursday. It’s been planned for months. We had to cancel twice last year with my jaw problems.

'I’m afraid I can’t support a trip to New York.’ The doctor frowns and in a few short words shatters our day.

All I wanted was to go up the Empire State Building and re-live the moment in 'Sleepless in Seattle.' To see the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway and the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island ferry. And meet my cyber-friend Frances who I’ve been acquainted with for several years.

The hubby is brave and philosophical. We can't take the risk if something goes wrong while we're out there. And the insurance would be invalidated if the doctor won't support us going. The boys are stoic and cheerful. In the scheme of life it’s not important. It's just a trip. There will be other trips. But we all know I’m not really robust enough for city breaks. Better in the future stick to sunshine, pool, and writer’s holidays. When I come through the disappointment, I will bounce back as I always do, and tell myself there are people far worse off than me. And there are.

Something crashes outside. A garden chair has flipped back in the wind. Callum’s goalposts are strewn upside down in the neighbour’s garden. All I can think about is in the bedroom the clothes are all still draped over the clothes horse, ready to pack in the suitcases. Sometime today I shall have to put them all back in our wardrobes.

I’ll get over it. I always do. In the meantime, I’ll write - push on with the novel for the RNA New Writer’s Scheme. I won’t be having a few days break from it after all.


So until another day

Bye for now
xx

17 comments:

Westerwitch/Headmistress said...

Aw heck - so berludy unfair - but can totally empathise . . . Auto Immune diseases really do strike at the most inopportune moments and it does feel as though you are always recovering from one thing after another . . .

mountainear said...

Berludy unfair as Westerwitch says. Not only poorly you - particularly rotten luck - but missing out on NYC.

Hope you feel better soon. New York will wait for another time and there is always a sunny holiday to look forward too.

There's talk of meeting up locally if you would like to join us.

Queenie said...

Oh PANTS. So sorry to hear this. Sending cyber-hugs.

Debs Carr said...

Oh Debs, I'm so sorry to hear you've been unwell again. I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were getting along. I do hope everything is sorted now.

Good luck with your writing. I need to get on with my NWS too.

Milla said...

How utterly crap. Really sort to hear this, D xx

Chris Stovell said...

Just seen this having DM'd you on Twitter. I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time again. I hope you feel better in every way very soon. Mountainear's right - New York will wait, although it's tough getting your head round that at the moment.

Withy Brook said...

You poor dear - sooo disappointing. It does not stop you using lovely prose though, and as usual you are so very brave. Love and hugs, Withy

Frances said...

Well, you know how much I was looking forward to really, truly meeting you, too, and showing you a bit of this town.

All that will wait. It will happen!

Meanwhile, we are going to find ways to enjoy this springtime that is slowing trying to put on its annual show for us.

Love to you!

Jenny Beattie said...

Oh bum; so sorry to hear all of that. Big hugs to you. I hope you feel better soon.

Colette McCormick said...

Huge sympathies which I know are totally inadequate. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Carole Anne Carr said...

I was saddened to read what you have written, I do hope you finally have your holiday in New York.

Norma Murray said...

What can I say except,Oh what bl**dy awful bad luck.Even the tiny consolation of having some more time to finish your novel can hardly be called compensation. I really hope you are feeling better soon.

bradan said...

Oh berger, that's so unfair. I hope you do get to go one day soon and meet Frances. Love and hugs to you. xx

CAMILLA said...

Oh Angel, what really rotten luck for you. Hope you feel much better soon, keep those dreams of going to NY, it will happen soon, in the meantime best of luck with your writing.

Sending over lots of hugs dear Angel.

Love Camilla.xx

Susie Vereker said...

Oh dear, how sad and unfair. You are so upbeat despite it all.

elizabethm said...

Oh What a blow! As if you haven't had enough to cope with. But what a great rallying round family you have there and there will be other times and other trips. Just for now, I hope you can enjoy the spring and I really hope to see you soon! Dingle visit perhaps?

Suzanne Jones said...

Hugs. I'm so sorry you're mising out on your trip.

XX